Wake up, goddammit!

I'll tell it to the hot, I'll tell it to the cold.

I'll tell it to the young, I'll tell it to the old.

I don't want no laughin', I don't want no cryin',

and most of all, no signifyin'.

-Petey Greene

Shane/ Jesse(?)

#25 :D

Fools in Love.

You ain't replying my msges again.
& i don't know what to think anymore.
Never knew i had to take up so much courage.
Wished i could see you,
but i didn't want it to end in a duel.

When i'm alone i think of you.
You, have 3 different images,
in my confused head.
Confined, Restrained, Fooled.
I know it's not the right thing to do.

Don't tell me what to do anymore.
Deadlines, Timelines, Obligations.
Cut me some slack.
My heart pumps with vigor,
My head wants to explode.
& you're not making things better.

Please, talk to me.
In desperation, i googled your name.
& i witness your happy face.
You're so much better now.

Look how you've grown.
You don't even remember me now.
That's why words are spilling over,
Here.
'Cause you'll never fear
what you don't know.


Shane/
Every little thing reminds me of you.

Name Your Purpose.

This blickering whisp of whorling winds,
My collasped chest fights this bitter gin.
I lean against this street sign and im chasing
This path you take. I want, i am needing
Your solace. Breathe this speckled air
of tangles with the connections that tare.

My friend, you have this old familiar face
That punches me with nostalgia.
I beg you to stop and cut this lingering taste.
The monotonous clock ticks my dream to insomnia.
I wear this angel crown to fight my devils.
Bodies mosh, I am tossed in this whirlpool as truth prevails.

With midnight giggles and a blank check in pussyland.
You had your fate sought with a blind kiss.
We would all, in the end, be reduced to what we came from-
Sand.
Stop your trembling, stop your dismal whisps.
You were my memory, you are my old familiar face.

20th oct 2008
Copyrighted by Genevieve. :)

Obviously, it can't be written by me. Have i mentioned, i've always taken a fancy towards people with great lingustic ability. Thank you gen, for penning this poem. haha, i loved it, though it may not mean much.


Shane.

Before the worst, before we met
Before our hearts decide
it's time to love again
Before too late, Before too long
Let's try to take it back before it all went wrong.

Don't give up, it's just the weight of the world.

When your heart is heavy, i'll lift it for you.

All around me, i witness the breakdown of the mind and emotions spillover. All these while, i try to convince everyone that things will turn out right. Initially i was so confident, so full of hope but now i'm doubting my ability again. I turn to sappy love songs, wallow in self pity alone or head to the other extreme, push yourself to the limit and run it all off. Let's make the great escape.

---------------

True happiness. The other day someone was telling me she hasn't felt really happy for period of time now. Don't worry pudds, we'll all find it someday, just a matter of time. Then, someone special named gnixaij came along and made me realised smth, it's not that my life's been terribly miserable, it's just the longing for the same familiar feeling of happiness. A new revelation takes me by surprise and the truth of it all. It's like coming full circle to that same old habit of not letting go, some things we wonder if we can ever let go and joke about it like it doesn't matter much. Vicious. I long to be like we used to be.

----------------

I've been thinking alot lately, observing people around me, the things that happen. I try to predict what others think they throw their glance this way and that. Even simple activities, the 4 times a week routine, i see the way we all interact with my heart, not my eyes. Yo mama gen, i feel the same way you do. Don't give up. I love the way you make me laugh genuinely with all the muahahah; true meaning of BFF; tour around haji lane; Food for thought; Old-fashioned red velvet cake. :)

----------------

Novelist. I've taken a fancy towards penning down my thoughts. Perform an autopsy of the major powerhouse where all the thoughts come from. I knew of someone who told me her dream of writing a novel, it was a novel about us. Suddenly, i am inspired to start a novel on my own. Write about something close to my heart. Maybe it'll be on a bus ride, me and my buddy facing the world. A love lullaby playing as i watched the rain outside the window, painting an abstract art with the transparent drops. Melancholy. ;)

----------------

To all my lovelies out there facing breaking point, just hold on and let your friends tug tug you along. Pei, regi, mel, ra, debb, jen, ally & xing, you're the best team mates i can ever ask for ! Although we're spread out all over, feel the love and hold on to what you believe in. We'll be around to tug tug each other along.

----------------

One of the longest post i've had. Nonsensical ramblings perhaps. After tonight, it is back to the array of list of things-to-do. Ogl interviews, ogl camps, team management workshop, OP presentations, 25th anniversary planning AND team night.

Even in death, may you be triumphant !

>>Shane
Sometimes tears say all there is to say/
Sometime your first scars dont ever fade, away/

The Benjy Davis project

i love you deeper than i can swim
feel my lungs caving in
nobody's saving me now

i love you stonger than i can hold
worth more than dying for
nobody's saving me now

You're so much better than i deserve.

Shane.
"He who eats after he is full, is digging his own grave."

Class Outing !

Okay, i know it's a little late, but better late than never right ? : D

i look super burnt here, w/ debbie the best fire starter & alyy, still stuck in her choir cca. :P

Da Cong & me, looking chopped off.

Amy, dripping wet at the bbq.

Yanzhen, the pro table tennis player & typical complainer of Pee-double-ewww.

Lim Zhen from sajc, but we share a harmonious relationship. :)

Sel, & her hush hush moments with JOHN. ;)

-Shane

HAPPY 17th BIRTHAY LP ! :D
Though i can't be there to give you a heartfelt hug first thing in the morning, i know you'll have the company of your many other friends. Knowing that you are so much happier, and comfortable where you are now, I'm really glad for you. cheers ! ilu !



welll helllllo ! I guess i better blog soon lest ppl start wondering where i've disappeared to and start reading my friend's blog to check out how i've been. Ahem , xing. haha. The past week was really UGHHHH. full stop. Sportsman night, Farewell Assembly and Open House. Plenty of conflicting interests and i came off with a wounded ego and great disppointment. Record breaking times of me breaking down in school over a span of 3 days, only before someone. I may look tough but that's what i have to do. Maybe i take on too much responsibility, more than what is necessary but im just such a woodblock, unable to find alternatives. I realise i do care about what others say about me. Everyone gets tired and cranky, i totally understand. I walk away, feeling like my entire chest is gna explode but i keep it controlled. Im not sure if this is healthy, but eventually, i'll find my selective targets to rant to. Form of release i guess. And im starting to like the idea of escapism. :)

Open house was pretty awesome, though not many people came. It was just plain fun to walk around school all day, i said my MOST number of hellos in a day, trying to be friendly and showing my "DING" Megawatt smile. :DDDD When i got home, i was totally sunburnt. It was a day of soccer fun and interacting with juniors like Sharrie ! haha, debbie and yiling came to vj too, with yiling DARINGLY wearing her hc shirt. Old friends. :D

Though it was tiring, but i found a way to relieve all the tension in my body. Rather healthy way i guess, and that is through sports. Soccer, swimming, jogging. Though the body says im tired, just push it to the limit. In the end, i get so tired, i can't rmb what are my worries. hehs. This is a pretty emo nemo blog post, partly cause promos results are BACK to haunt me. Shane, shalt not succumb to the raised hopes and failed expectations. Sciences, i hate you, but i'm gna hit the books soon.


If one day you wake up/
and find that you're missing me/
and your heart starts to wonder/
where on this earth i could be/



Shane.
#25